Original autograph manuscript, 8 pages on 4 squared leaves, extensively revised and signed by Boris Vian. Subtle horizontal folds.
This short story, written on 7 June 1948 according to Noël Arnaud, was first published in issue no. 2 of the magazine Dans le train, and later included in the collection Le Loup Garou. The manuscript differs slightly from the printed versions.
Composed to be read over the course of a train journey, this short story inaugurates the twelve texts Boris Vian published between 1948 and 1950 in this humorous magazine aimed at public transport passengers.
The plot, although extremely simple, rivals the greatest Hollywood sagas, recounting in five acts the rise, glory, and fall of a Parisian gangster.
In the magazine, it was preceded by the introduction: « Boris Vian, l’auteur de J’irai cracher sur vos tombes, vous présente Les Pas Vernis », placing the story under the aegis of Vernon Sullivan, while parodying the tropes of noir fiction in a delectable pulp pastiche:
- Hardship:
« Clams Jorjobert avait onze francs dans sa poche et c’était la veille du loyer » [Clams Jorjobert had eleven francs in his pocket, and rent was due the next day.]
(The protagonist, despite a mollusk-inspired first name, bears a surname borrowed from the actor who played in the stage adaptation of *J’irai cracher sur vos tombes*, Georges Aubert.)
- Hidden loot:
« Pour rien au monde il n’eut touché au matelas de billets de mille sur lequel dormait son fils aîné, six ans le douze avril » [For nothing in the world would he have touched the mattress of thousand-franc notes on which his eldest son, six years old on the twelfth of April, was sleeping.]
(The birthday of Pierre, Boris and Michèle’s son.)
- Exploitation of the weak:
« Il serait temps que cette enfant […] qui court sur son quatrième mois commençât à se rendre utile » [It’s about time that child […] now pushing four months old, started making herself useful.]
This diabolical plan is swiftly curbed by the mother’s sense of ethics:
« Si tu attendais qu’elle ait six mois. Il ne faut pas faire travailler les enfants trop jeunes, ça leur déforme la colonne vertébrale » [You could at least wait until she’s six months old. You shouldn’t make children work too young — it bends their spines.]
- Lavish excess:
« La cage de l’escalier garnie de fer extrêmement forgé et, sous l’amorce de la spirale qui enserrait un ascenseur Louis X signé Boulle (mais c’était un faux), deux superbes landaus de Chez Bonnichon Frères et Mape réunis […] garnis de lapin blanc » [The stairwell lined with heavily wrought iron, and under the sweep of the spiral that embraced a Louis X lift signed Boulle (though it was a fake), two splendid prams from Bonnichon Frères and Mape combined […] lined with white rabbit.]
(A wink this time to his daughter Carole and her luxurious pram gifted by the d’Halluin family.)
- Greed:
« Ça vaut trente billets dans le commerce, on en tirera bien douze mille. Pour moi, les douze mille, spécifia Gaviale. » [It’s worth thirty bills in the trade — we’ll get at least twelve thousand. The twelve thousand are mine, Gaviale specified.]
(The surprisingly reptilian name is almost always preceded by the adjective “belle”.)
- Sensuality:
« La belle Gaviale, vêtue élégamment d’une longue jupe nioulouque dont dépassait un menu jupon de dentelles (celui de sa première communion) » [The beautiful Gaviale, elegantly dressed in a long ‘nioulouque’ skirt under which peeked a dainty lace petticoat (her first communion one).]
- Influence-peddling:
« Tu comprends, (expliquait-il à sa femme, la belle Gaviale qui croquait du Rahat-Loukoum à la pisquatredeux tandis que Véronique buvait un biberon rempli de Heidsieck de la bonne époque) qu’on n’aura jamais l’idée d’arrêter une voiture du Corps Diplomatique » [You see, (he explained to his wife, the beautiful Gaviale, who was nibbling on Rahat-Loukoum soaked in forty-two-proof while Véronique drank a bottle filled with vintage Heidsieck) no one would ever think to stop a Diplomatic Corps car.]
- Fencing and forged documents:
« L’opération se passa correctement en ce qui concerne la Cadillac, dont il put tirer treize cents mille francs car les faux papiers pour les Cadillac qui sont maintenant fabriqués en série, venaient d’être mis dans le commerce et se trouvaient dans tous les bureaux de tabac » [The operation went smoothly regarding the Cadillac, which he sold for 1,300,000 francs, since the fake papers for Cadillacs, now mass-produced, had just hit the market and were available in every tobacconist’s.]
- Delusions of grandeur:
« C’est idiot, […] Je venais de lui chiper sa voiture de pompiers, mais les femmes sont insatiables. Elle a voulu un corbillard… – Elle exagère, dit Dodiléon, compréhensif, car sa femme à lui n’avait jamais été au-delà de l’autocar à trente cinq places. » [It’s silly, […] I’d just pinched her fire engine, but women are insatiable. She wanted a hearse… – She exaggerates, said Dodiléon sympathetically, since his own wife had never gone beyond a thirty-five-seater coach.]
(Léon Dodiléon is none other than Claude Léon, a close friend of Boris Vian and the unintentional model for many characters.)
- Prison as hell:
« Dans la prison, Dodiléon trouvait le temps léong. » [In prison, Dodiléon found time loooong.]
- Macabre tone:
« J’ai acheté un cercueil, je me suis mis dedans et j’y ai été. » [I bought a coffin, got in, and stayed there.]
- Violence and crime:
« T’as déjà essayé de marcher dans un cercueil ? dit Clams. Je me suis pris les pieds dedans, je suis tombé et j’ai écrasé un petit chien. » [Ever tried walking in a coffin? said Clams. I tripped, fell, and crushed a small dog.]
But fortunately, Boris Vian is not Vernon Sullivan, and he couldn’t conclude his story without delivering an uncompromising moral:
« Léon Dodiléon hocha la tête.
– Mince, dit-il. Il y en a qui n’ont pas de veine ! .... [Tough luck, he said. Some people just don’t have any!]
Boris Vian »
A delightful original manuscript by Boris Vian of this very short story « à l’embrayage tricuspide à révolution souple » [with tricuspid clutch and supple revolution], tinged with Sullivan and « rupine au poil » [a damn smooth con job].
Provenance: Boris Vian Foundation.